Smile
by Elenafromthewoods
Summary: Book 7-8 SPOILER WARNING! Mikas thoughts when a person he loved dies. sad stuff. No slash. Please r&r Will be many sad drabbles about DS characters like Mika, Darren, Arrow etc. Ask me if you want a special charachter/scene
1. Smile

The fire is strong and bright. It plays trickily on his face, like the fingers of a child. Soon his body is all covered in those flames, who burn and lick, and destroy the thin shell that is left after his soul went to paradise.

A shell, nothing more, I try to think, but i don't succeed in keeping the tears away. They flow over my cheeks like raindrops, a strange feeling I had almost forgotten. When was the last time I cried? I can't remember.

I do not cry without a reason, nor do I smile so often. But I feel these tears are not only my emotions that at last have become overwhelming, but also a silent farewell to a vampire I respected and loved. He did so much for me. Even after I became a Prince, he gave me council, protection and trust. He trusted me in times I did not even dare to trust myself.

I do not have many friends, mostly because many people seem uncomfortable with my lack of emotions. Paris never felt that way. He only used to say: 'Smile Mika, for life is too short not to.'

I never understood what he ment. until now. When I see how they brush away his ashes, I realise that nothing lasts forever. In a stupid, childish wish, I believed he would stay with me for all times, always be there for me.

But times go on, everything changes. Another childish wish of mine, that nothing would ever change. And now we were on the edge of war, the fate of all vampires in the hands of a young halfblood.

In one way, I wish Desmond Tiny had called out my name, that day in the hall of Princes. To get the chance to proof myself, face death yet again and take fate in my own hands. But my heart tells me, like Paris always did, that I must trust the boy. He is the only one that can save us now.

I walk in the mountain. It's day outside, almost everyone is asleep, but even though I'm tired I cannot sleep.

Persons, friends, loved ones I've lost keep flowing through my mind. I wonder how it is to be dead.

Paradise. It sounds good. I don't think there are many that will miss me if I died. It is a tempting solution, just leave all the troubles and sorrows behind, flow to Paradise where everything is perfect and I would meet the ones I love again. But a thing Paris once said sounds clearly in my mind.

"Paradise is not real. Nothing is perfect, and the Paradise we always dream of doesn't lie behind stars. It is here, in this world we chose to live in. Only here we can make our dreams come true, and really be happy. For without sorrow, there is no happiness, and if there is no sorrow in Paradise there will not be happiness either."

That's a scary thought. Only here, in this world, we can really be happy. This place filled with blood, hate and tears is our Paradise.

I sigh. The halls are empty. I walk into a small tunnel and reach the door outside. It cmirks when I open it, and I blink when the bright sun hits my eyes, the eyes of a creature of the night. When I stretch out my hand, I feel the sun burning it. Burning, like Paris. I close my eyes, try to remember our time together. But my memories of our first meetings, my choice and time as his assistant are vague. I know that in a couple of years, my memory of his face will be too.

The sun burns, and I go back inside. A flood of sadness and melancholy suddenly overwhelms me. The days of the vampires are counted, soon all we've fought and died for would be gone. Even if we won the War of Scars, the humans were taking over more and more of our space.

Though I hated to admit it, we were a dying raise, mythological creatures, doomed to fade away and be forgotten, only to be mentioned in fairytales. And a Paradise lost forever.

-"Lord Mika?"

I turned around and faced a younger half-vampire in green robes, looking scared. I knew he had arrived only a few days ago, alone. His sire died in a battle with vampaneze on the way to the mountain. His blue eyes were sleepy.

-"Yes?" I asked, gazing at the boy. He could be no more than eighteen years old.

-"I...I'm sorry to disturb you my Lord, but..." he sighed and tears filled his eyes. "I couldn't sleep. Is it sure no vampaneze will attack the mountain?" He looked extremely embarrassed about crying in front of a Prince, and quickly tried to wipe away the tears that kept flooding.

-"Nothing is sure anymore," I said, feeling a strange pity for the boy. He closed his eyes and nodded stiffly, before bowing and turning around to leave. I stopped him and softly wiped away the last of his tears, giving him a little smile.

-"Smile please," I said. "Life is to short not to."


	2. Darrens thoughts

This story is going to be a lot of little drabbles(mostly sad ones) that pop up in my head. Enjoy, and of course review. Spoiler warnings for books 1-9 You can always PM me and ask me to write about something or someone special. Like that XD

Only two reviewers on the first chapter, I hope there will be more... But I'll answer them anyway:):)

_**RoxyPony:**_Thanks very much :):) I'm really proud of that first chapter...x) Just tell me what you want me to write about I'm a little bit out of ideas... The boy Mika met was not Darren, Darren was at that time out for the hunt of the vampaneze lord. It was just some cute little halvvampire who was afraid...(cuddles him)

Only one more month? ) keep it up roxy! No, I do not have exams. The schools in Sweden are really soft about thatx) No real exams before the gymnasium, and thats about two years left:D But good luck with yours!! (lots of hugs)

PS: looking very forward to update of TVF, but also to CTB, maybe...?

_**LillyHellsing**_: I'm also very sad about that, Paris should live! Ò.Ó You think we can convince Darren Shan to change the story? Because I still don't own it? (TT)

Hope all goes well with ya, and with your other stories. I'll send an sample of 'Artistic touch' tomorrow! Already written a little... Hugs!

* * *

Alone. All alone. When I wake up from my darkest nightmares that is what I feel. Loneliness, colder than any ice, and longing, stronger than any ropes. Vancha is right, if we fail our chances to kill the lord of the Vampanze, the one of us that survives isn't the lucky one.

I look at my friends, how they dream around the ashes of our fire. Only protected by thin blankets, they sleep through the day. Sunlight doesn't reach down here. Mr. Crepsley had found the ideal hiding place, under the roots of a giant, half-standing tree.

Harkat sleeps ill, his nightmares are hunting him all the time. He keeps mumbling things in his sleep, rocking back and forth against the tree. I wish I could help him.

My mentor lies curled up on the ground, only his bright red hear sticks out from under his cloak. He sleeps silent, but I know he dreams too. Most time about Arra, sometimes about Gavner. I heard him talk to Seba about it. One time, after that he never mentioned it again.

I shudder when I think of Arra and Gavner. There are a black, cold holes in my chest since they died, holes that never will be filled with anything else than grief and pain . Those holes never disappear, though in times I feel really happy, I almost forget about them. But when I'm sleeping, or alone, they itch again, remind me of my ever broken soul.

Long time ago, when Steve was still my friend, when I had a family, and a home, I didn't have those holes. The first time I felt them was when Annies tears fell on me, the day of my funeral. Those tears left burning cold marks, marks that slowly started to heal after I came to Circe du Freak. But that night, the one night when I finally left human life and drank my friends blood, they were ripped open again. And never to be healed.

Gavner, Arra, even Kurda...they all left holes. Who is next? Vancha? Paris? Harkat? Perhaps Mr. Crepsley?

Slowly I reach out my hand to my mentor, who sleeps and dreams only some inches away. My arm is too short, I cannot reach him without getting on my feet. My arm drops down again. I want to hold them all, hold and never let go. Everyone that has become precious to me. Harkat, Larten, Seba, Vanez, Paris, Mika, Arrow, Vancha...Evra.

My dream comes into my thoughts again. It is horrifying clear in my mind, shows my worst fears again and again.

I dreamt that we failed, that the lord of Vampaneze did survive, and won the war of Scars. I saw my friends die, one by one. First mr. Crepsley, by the hand of that cursed Lord. After him Harkat who went mad by his nightmares and threw himself on his own sword.

Vancha was killed by one of the guns of the vampets.

Mika and Arrow got poisoned and died a painful death, and Seba and Vanez were slaughtered when the vampaneze took over the mountain. So was Paris. Evra never died, just disappeared together with the circe du Freak.

And I was left alone. That image is still the clearest to me; I stand before Vampire Mountain, the next moment I'm inside and walk in the deserted Halls. Everything is old, grey and forgotten, the once so proud Gates to the Hall of Princes are only dust.

I walk, and my footsteps echo while I do so. I'm alone, only the memory of the former glory of vampires is left.

On the ground lies a shard of a mirror. I take it, and stare into its reflecting surface. A broken face stares back, tired blue eyes and not the soft cheeks of a child anymore, but the worn skin of an old man. I scream and drop the shard.

My dream always ends there. Sometimes I can go back to sleep, other times not.

But today I feel different. When I look at my friends, I make a silent promise to myself; I will fight on, no matter what happens. For their sake, for all vampires sake. Because I was wrong. I have a family. I have a home.

Forever.

* * *

Little stupid chapter... Please tell me what you think, and give me ideas for the next chapter. And thats an ORDER (XD) My update for Christmas in Vampire mountain is not going to suffer from this, if you all be nice and review


	3. Arrows sorrow

This is another sad story, about Arrow and his wife that got killed by vampaneze. short I know, sorry, but I'm tired (it's 12 in the night!) Hope you enjoy it anyway, please review

Disclaimer: does in no way own

Blood.

He saw her the first time at the beach. It was sunset and she was walking right were land met sea, the waves wet her feet and then went back to sea again, back and forth. Her hair was windblown and wild, she smiled at the sea, at the world, she smiled at him.

Blood.

When he told her what he really was, he feared she would be scared, run away and find him disgusting. But she just smiled in that wonderful, a little sad way, and kissed him. 'Does it matter?' she said.

Blood

When he left her for hunt that night, he was happy. He had proposed to her, feeling his heart beat as never before when he held out the ring, too scared she would say no to even breath. She didn't hesitate, but took the ring with that sad smile of hers, her eyes serious and full of the power of the sea. Both new that she with that ring accepted to be a vampires bride, to follow him to the mountain and stay with him while he fulfilled his duty's as a Prince. Life would be perfect.

Blood.

He was broken. He was dead. His world didn't exist anymore, or maybe it was he himself that had disappeared. It had to be, his eyes had to cheat him. For this couldn't be true. Never. Not her. They were meant to be together, he knew for sure. That was why it couldn't be true, why the blood on the floor had to be fake. It was not possible that his love...(his life, his light, his entire world!!) could be here, cold and stiff, with her lovely grey eyes closed, never to be opened again. It was just...not true...

Blood.

Now dried up, on his hands, on his clothes. On her face and clothes, in her hear. The wound in her head had stopped bleeding long time ago, about time the sun rose. It was almost midday, but he still sat in the same position, clunging her as tight to his own body as possible, trying to give her cold body some of his warmth. In vain. He knew, but not until the sun set again he raised and careful carried her to the sofa. He brushed away some strands of hair that hung in her face and then turned away. He would return, soon. And it wouldn't be her blood that covered his hands.

Blood.

He still saw the faces of the vampaneze before his inner eye, and with pleasure(if you could call it that, nothing in his life could ever be happy again) he remembered their last moments. Their faces, twisting in pain and their screams for mercy echoing trough the whole house.

He had been cruel, unhumanly cruel. But he was no human, not even a vampire. He was only an empty shell, for his heart was shattered to pieces, burned and then spread in the wind.

Slowly he walked into her house, giving every piece of furniture, every corner and picture on the wall a last look. Then his eyes turned to her, his beautiful, wonderful wife, the one he loved more than anything in the world. Who would never open her eyes again.

One last, soft kiss on cold, bloodtasting lips. Then he turned and walked out of the house, into the garden. Slowly he lit a match and held it beneath one of the green silk curtains that hung out of the shattered window. It took fire immediately, and he watched the flames spread and cover whole of the house. In the distance, he heard sirens. They would not get there in time, her tomb of flames would not be destroyed.

No words for farewell, for no words could ever fill the emptiness inside him again.

He flitted trough the night, didn't know where he went. When the sun rose he rested, when it set he flitted on. At last he reached the ocean. It was exactly the same, wild and untamed. Grey waves broke against the beach, the moon gave everything a spooky light. He walked into the sea, far, until the water reached up his chest.

'What am I doing here? Here alone in this world. A world that has no colors nor light left, only silver moonlight.'

His hand filtered trough the clear water, trough liquid silver. Her eyes were not silver, they were grey like the waves, but still full of light. He stared up at the moon and asked for an answer. Nothing came. No words, no feelings or memories.

After some time he went to shore again. And he knew what he had to do. Not for himself, but for those grey eyes. They would never forgive him if he gave up now. That were no answers that were given to him there, in the sea of silver, but answers he'd known all the time. Perhaps he already knew it the first time he saw her, when he knew he was in love. It didn't matter. Nothing did matter, but surviving. Something that would take all his energy and courage, but he knew he would succeed. For her sake.

Behind him, the waves went back and forth, back and forth.

* * *

So, that was it...you know what to do...


	4. Silver

Little tired of writing sad scenes I wrote this one. Larten loves Arra. More to say? It's really romantic, and a little sad. But just imagine the scene; a young Larten, a young Arra and a silver lake... Enjoy.

* * *

She loves me

She loves me not

loves me

loves me not...

Slowly the little white petals fell trough the air, like soft snowflakes they landed on the silver surface of the lake. They drifted away, one by one, blown by a wind that was too kind even to make the leaves rustle. In the lake, a silver moon shone bright, like it's twin did far above in the black sky, surrounded by stars.

Loves me...

Loves me not...

He didn't dare too look at the number of petals left. Slowly, one by one, they fell, and his heart was the only thing he could hear. The night was soft and warm, a beautiful night some may have called it. But he had no eyes for the silver beauty of stars or moon, the only one he could think of was so wonderful even this night failed to match her. Wild and untamed, like a wild cat, with a will of steal and a dignity like a princess. But beneath that hard shell of pride he saw a tender, passionate woman. The woman he loved above all else.

Loves me...

Loves me not...

He glanced at his own reflection in the mirror of water before him. Green eyes looked back from a pale face. Red wisps of hear escaped from behind his ears, and a cloak in the same color rested on his shoulders. He knew he was not ugly, but not very handsome either. A hand raised to ruffled the red hair, but lowered again. It was to no use.

Loves me

Loves me not...

His hand gripped in thin air, and he gazed in horror down at the remains of the flower that rested in his hand. There were no more petals. The last one drifted away with that o so soft wind.

Loves me not.

The words that formed in his mind became tears in his eyes, and he couldn't stop them from flowing. They dripped into the water, causing it's surface to break into circles. Sobbing softly, he curled up in his cloak, squeezing the remains of the flower into a small, sweet-smelling ball.

-"Larten?"

A clear voice echoed across the lake, and the vampire dressed in red raised his head within a tenth of a second. His voice was full of disbelief and awkwardness about being found in such a state.

-"Arra? What are you doing here?"

The slender female vampire walked towards him, her brown hair glanced like silver in the moonlight. He lost his breath when she came closer, how could one simple being become that beautiful?

-"I should ask the same about you," she replied when she reached his spot. Her dark eyes met his for a second and then went to his wet face and the sad look it wore. He turned his face away, and therefore didn´t see the worried expression that appeared in her eyes.

-"It is nothing you should worry about..." he tried to make his voice sound calm and relaxed. His heart missed a beat when she gracefully sat down beside him.

-"Probably not... But Seba said I should go and see you. He told me where you probably would be."

He didn't answer, just stared out over the lake. She sighed and followed his gaze. A little smile played across her lips.

-"It is beautiful, isn't it?"

He nodded and sighed too. She waited patiently, and at last he spoke.

-"Has it ever happened too you... that you long desperately for someon...something? Something you would die for, but you know you will probably never have?" His green eyes met hers again.

-"I...I don't think so." She spoke slowly and chose her words carefully. "But if it ever happened to me, I would do everything I could to get what I wanted."

-"If you were in love with someone"(he couldn't believe he actually said this! ) "but you did not believe that person loved you back, what would you do?"

Her eyes were hard, with a glitter of steel. They were testing him.

-"I would ask him if he felt the same. If not, I would never speak to him again."

She waited some moments for his answer, but he didn't speak. Then she got on her feet.

-"I hope you can solve your problems Larten. Good night."

She turned and started to walk back into the forest, her long hair was blown up a little by the same wind that touched his cheek and soft put the forbidden words on his lips.

-"I love you."

She froze, only some steps away from the first trees. He wet his dry lips and said it again, more slowly now. She still didn't move, and his heart almost stopped beating when the truth struck him. He saw the last petal float across the lake. Loves me not. How could he be so stupid? New tears started to flow over his cheeks while he felt his heart aching with every beat.

The next moment she stood before him, her grey eyes were full of earnest.

-"Are you really? In love with me I mean..."

He nodded slowly.

-"So this is not just a little childish love affair, or a stupid attempt to get into my pants? You really love me?"

He nodded again, now with a spark of hope in his green eyes.

-"With all my heart and soul I do love you Arra. I would die a hundred times for you."

Her eyes softened, and she smiled again.

-"I just had to ask. I don't have the strength of heart to be hurt if someone I loved wasn't serious about his feelings. Thank you Larten."

In one movement she moved towards him and placed her warm lips against his. Almost in a dream he answered the kiss, and holding her tight against his chest he felt her heart beat.

He suddenly let go of her and a little clumsy he turned away and fell on his knees. Very careful he picked one of the little white flowers that grew all around them, and slowly he put it behind her ear. The little flower glowed silver in the moonlight, and so did Arras eyes.

He would remember this scene for the rest of his life; the silver lake, silver flower and silver eyes, when soft lips met his once again.

* * *

So that was it. A little sad, when you think of what happened later between them.

Just going to answer some reviewers before I end... And disclaimer:

Evannas frogs in chorus:

_Elenafromthewoods (croak) does not own(croak) any of the Darren Shan (croak) characters(croak)_

Reviews:

**RoxyPony: **I admit I couldn't resist killing Mika and Arrow in a very sad, painful way... Sadist you knowXD Chapter tree was written for you, hope you liked it. Quite much blood... x) If you move to Sweden you can live in my house! And we'll invite all the others too! (big party)

**LilyHellsing**: Thanks I enjoy writing them too, it's easier than writing humor fics...XD For some strange reason...:) Updating AT soon...

That was it. As you see only two people reviewed this story... Ò.Ó so, get on, click that button, waste three minutes of your precious time to make my day. Thanks:)


	5. Friends

Little drabble about Kurda and Mika, and their friendship. (yes I know they are not really friends, but this is a fanfiction hey?) This is not slash, just friendship. Mika is about 25 and Kurda 18, and Mika is just becoming a Prince. They are relative young vampires, still mischievous, and I liked the idea of them both being friends.A little like Merry and Pippin in the mountain...

Kurdas POV, and sorry for getting Mika a little out of character. He was more cheerful when he was younger.

Longer story about Kurda is posted separately, and was written for Kurdasgirl, so you should better check that one out:P If you review I might post another chapter.

Disclaimer... now done by two unusual persons that do not at all belong to Darren Shan...Merry and Pippin, who took some freetime from lord of the rings to do this!

Merry: we just wanted to say

Pippin: that Elenaofthewoods

Merry: does not own

Pippin: any of the Darren Shan characters

Merry: and she doesn't own us either

Pippin: sad...

Merry: mm...just imagine what we could have done if she wrote LOTR...  
(both sink down in happy thoughts)

Me: well, maybe another time boys! see ya, and hug Legolas from me!

Both: Yeah, sure, he wanted to come, but we didn't let him...hehe...(mischievous grins)

Me: ...

Just had to write thatXD Reviews:

**_Juine -umathurman: _**Thanks, if you want me I could write some more Arra and Larten, they are a great couple:) you can write about almost everything in their realtionship; sadness, happiness, bravory, romance... Just tell me what you want! xo

**_RoxyPony_**: I didn't use the word 'blood' too much then?:P I enjoyed writing it, just so sad. I could really see Arrows wife in my mind. What did you think of my Arra/Larten?) Hugs, and keep going on TVF and CTB!!

**_Kurdasgirl_**: It's alright, everyone seems to have exams now except for me(jumps up and down) Good luck with them anyway!:P  
Mikas part was my favourite too, that came right from the heart...XD I just listened to some sad music and then I felt I had to write it down... I've got the feeling I'm better on non-humor stories, so I'm gonna keep going on that:) And yes, just because I love you I wrote you a long, sad, romantic fanfic about Kurda, it's posted as a separate story named something like 'sunlight fades with a taste of jasmine' (cannot remember exactly) I hope you like that one, and if you want I could write more chapters. This one about Mika and Kurda is just something my mind came up with, and I do not even really like it...:P Hope someone else doesXD hugs!

Now on with the story!

* * *

He sat down beside me, giving me one of his rarely used smiles.

-"How is it going with your map?" he asked, eying the piece of paper before me, his black eyes curious. I sighed and handed over the map, filled with ink spots and shaky lines. It was a disaster, but Mika just raised his eyebrows and didn't say anything.

-"I'm sorry... I'm still a terrible drawer. It is really useless..." I said, but he looked up in surprise at my words.

-"What do you mean 'it is useless'," he frowned. "This is one of the best maps of the mountain I've ever seen!"

Without wanting it, I blushed at his compliment.

-"Don't say that just because you don't want to hurt my feelings," I asked, but he looked yet more astonished, and also a bit hurt.

-"You should know me better Kurda, do you really think I would lie to you?"

That was one of the moments I remembered Mika was still older than me.

-"No." I said softly, and he handed over the map again.

-"I'm serious Kurda, you will be a amazing drawer one day." A little tint of jealousy could be heard in his voice, and I glared up at him.

-"Why so gloomy, Prince-to-be?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders and looked yet more gloomy when I used his nickname.

-"You see Kurda, I'm becoming a Prince now, and that's amazing and very honourable and all that, but it sounds so boring!" He looked at me with a helpless look in his eyes. "I now I should be happy, and grateful to Paris...but it's just..." he sank down into dark thoughts again, and I knew I had to cheer him up a bit.

-"But you know, you don't have to start with all your duties immediately! You are Prince, so you can get out in the world for adventures first!"

Now it was me who tried not to let the jealousy into my voice, but Mika still didn't look at me. He seemed to think deep, and I waited patiently until he spoke again.

-"Adventures sound fun..." he looked embarrassed, and seemed tried to say something, but couldn't find the words. "But...it...sounds lonely.."

He looked at me with sad eyes.

-"Any chances you could come with me?" he whispered.

I was honestly surprised. Of all the things I could imagine him to say, this was the last I would think of. But it was a pleasant surprise, and I smiled.

-"I don't know, but I'll ask my mentor. Maybe he will let me go for a while. I'd love to come with you."

Mika looked delighted, and very happy.

-"Thank you Kurda."

I grinned.

-"No problems Mika, now let's go and spy on Arra. She should take her morning shower about this time..."

* * *

I'm evilXD poor Arra. Hope you enjoyed it. Just a little note: I'm of to Belgium on Friday for two weeks, so this may be my last chapter for a while... sad but true. You can write lots of nice reviews instead, and make me happy when I return!:D So, that was it. Have a nice summer everyone!

/Elenafromthewoods


	6. Lies

I'm back xD and all my stories are getting an update very soon, to start with this one. From my favourite vampire's POV, review!! and special thanks to the ones that reviewed last chapter, you are my angels!

Hugs to:

pretty-r.a.v.e-GIRLxx

Juine -umathurman-

Prisoners chains

Kurdasgirl

Disclaimer:

Larten : At last, I got into the story! Elenafromthewoods does not own the Darren Shan Saga.

Me: YesxD you heard it, I do not own it!

Larten: Wait a moment, what have you written up there? Mika, your favourite vampire? And what about me?!

Me: Even in death may you triumph...you die in book nine you know...

Larten: ...forgot about that (goes and cries)

I'm tired. My back hurts, and so does my head. I do not know why, my body is fully trained and shouldn't react this way. After all, I do nothing more than sitting on a throne and staring at maps.

But still I'm tired and all I want is too sleep, deep and dreamless. Dreamless...if only that could be true.

Since Vancha, Larten Crepsley and young Darren left, nightmares have come to me and disturbed my sleep.

They are different every night, except for the end. They always end the same; something terrible happens and I cannot stop it, and afterwards a cold voice tells me that I failed.

I know that cold, sneering voice, without any emotions in it. I know it much too well, because it's my own voice. My own voice tells me I failed, and brings up memories from the darkest corners of my heart, memories I would do everything for to forget. Memories that are like my nightmares, terrible things I have seen and gone through and failed to bring too a good end.

The last one is the clearest, and the worst. A memory of two blue eyes, empty of light and hope while they watch my fingers draw the sale of death on his chest. His cold skin shivers at my touch, and I have too keep my hand from trembling.

Why did you do that Kurda? What cruel power put the charge on you to save us? And, was there a way I could have avoided this all, saved you and the many warriors that died in the caves that day?

I know there was not, but still I feel blame darkening my mind because of you.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

I would never, even under torture tell anyone, but you Kurda...are in one way the bravest of us all.

Every vampire I know would gladly sacrifice his life for the clan, but how many would give away their honour? Being remembered and forever told about as a traitor, when you yourself know it is true... that takes a lot of courage.

You must have been lonely, every word a lie, every step carefully planned not to give yourself away.

I know how that feels, because in this bloody war you tried to stop I nearly have to do the same. Now Paris is dead, and Arrow is out fighting, I have to stay in the mountain and give people hope, tell them things to let them fight better.

I guess that is a kind of lie, because it doesn't really matter. If the Hunters fail, we will all fail.

So, just like you Kurda, I tell lies, and just like you I watch my every step not to give myself away. The others need leaders, they need someone who tells them what to do when they cannot make it out on their own. And if the leader shows some kind of weakness, everyone will fall. So even when I am as frightened as they are, I'm not aloud to show my fear, and every movement I make must be a good one. That is a heavy burden to bear.

If your plan had succeeded, I would be dead.

But at least I would not have to tell lies.

* * *

See ya!


	7. Rain

Hey, you are lucky! Found this in my computer, it was supposed to be posted several weeks ago xD But here it is, written on a (guess what) rainy day! Wanted to write about Steve too, but I was tired xD

* * *

I was sitting on the window sill, my one cheek rested against the cold and rainy glass. Even if the rain was outside, water dripped from my hair too, falling in little drops down on my blanket. I could feel how the wetness spread across the thin fabric, across my back and down my legs.

We had been surprised by the weather, and were lucky that we found this old house. Less lucky that we didn't find it before we were both dripping wet.

I shivered, the house was big and cold, no one had been there for a very long time.

My mentor was busy trying to make a fire in the old fireplace in the corner, not very easy with only wet wood. I observed him while he lit match after match, swearing silently every time the flame died down.

Soon I felt how my lips curled up in a smile, my first smile in a while actually. For some reason I hadn't felt like smiling. Not so strange, if you think of the things that had happened the last few months...

I had left my family, home and best friend to become the assistant of a vampire. I had seen one of my few new friends on the Cirque being eaten by a wolf man, and at last I had crawled trough tunnels of blood, trying to rescue the one friend I had left. And even if we did succeed in defeating Murlaugh, I had to leave yet another person that had become precious to me – Debbie.

But still, for some strange reason, I smiled. I just couldn't stop it, but a warmth spread inside me while I looked at my mentor. It was not him, well in one way it was, but just that moment he seemed to symbolise everyone that now was important to me; Evra, Truska, Mr. Tall and the other performers, Madam Octa, and of course Larten Crepsley himself. They were there for me, I was not alone.

Pulling the blanket closer around my body I jumped down from the window sill, and quickly made my way from the icing cold stone floor to the thick carpet that was placed before the fireplace.

My mentor didn't look up when I came closer, but his face brightened when the last match finally let the wood catch fire. We both stared into the hot, licking flames that warmed my face until it was almost burning. The rain clattered against the window, and I sat down, hesitated for a moment and then put my head against Mr. Crepsleys shoulder.

He seemed surprised, and one moment I feared he would move away, but then I felt him relax and pulling me closer, so that I rested comfortably in his lap. That was how I fell asleep, feeling totally save and for the first time in a very long time; happy.

-"Bloody rain...I'm wet to the bone. If we do not die by the hands of vampaneze, we will sure be drowned like rats."

Without replying I pulled my cloak tighter and tried to ignore the chill that crept up my back like cold fingers. All I wanted was some sleep, but Vancha had no plans on remaining silent.

-"They couldn't have picked someone else for the job, couldn't they? Damm Mika, I'm sure he is warm and comfortable inside the mountain right now, while we have to be outside and scout just because mister we-cannot-take-any-risks has to make sure no vampaneze are trying to attack the mountain. He could have done it himself, for all gods sake..."

And so on, until after more than an hour, he finally noticed I was not listening and mumbling curled up beneath his tree to sleep.

Sighing with relief, I relaxed too and under cover of my thick, navy blue cloak, I took out my maps to made sure the rain hadn't harmed them. Tenderly I stroke the soft parchment and carefully put the pieces of paper back into their holders. Then I stared out in the rain.

When I returned to the mountain now, I knew I would never leave it again. Even if I knew what I had to do, the loneliness in my heart just grew. My mind was overwhelmed with feelings; guilt, sadness, determination, bitterness...

Bitterness because I knew that Destiny had chosen me for this task. For no reason at all, just because I lived in the right age and had some sense of humanity left, it was my fate to sacrifice my life, my friends and my honour for everyone else. I new it was selfish and stupid, but I wished with all my heart some other person could carry this burden.

On the other hand, I would feel terrible if someone else had to carry it, because I could never wish any other living being the pain of heart I went trough now. I sighed, no matter how I looked at it there was only one solution.

My eyes turned to the sleeping Vancha.

A solution that required the death of at least four persons that had become precious to me. Paris, Vancha, Mika and Arrow...

My fingers suddenly grabbed a piece of charcoal and one of the papers I had left, and started to draw. I never knew I could draw like this, but before my eyes the faces of my friends grew across the paper, each one with their special characteristics and looks.

Paris Skyle, as wise as ever, smiled at me with twinkling eyes. At his side was Mika, holding some papers and just looking up from them to say something with a thoughtful look on his face. Vancha stood behind those two, grinning mischievously and ready to jump and scare them so Mika should drop his papers. Arrow was walking towards the others, holding a sword and a message he reached out to Paris, his eyes both sad and alive.

Soon my fellow Princes. Soon to be dead.

I buried my head in my hands and cried, felt the rain drop down my cheeks together with the salty tears and then down on the drawing, slowly making my friends' images fade away.

* * *

So, I have posted TWO chapters in less than ONE hour, that is worth a comment isn't it?


	8. Alive

The hands of fate show the time on a heart-shaped watch.

While lives run out and are born,

time just passes.

Two eyes are watching

A young boy

A hateful boy

A story of love and

hatred

betrayal

and trust

Five Princes, four Princes

traitor for a stone of blood.

Hunters running trough the dusk

One by fire swallowed

Three in search of blood, soul and faith

Dragons flying trough the sky

when night has overcome

The hands of fate show the time

on a heart-shaped watch.

--

That was just a strange poem that popped up in my headxD Here is a little drabble of thoughts in Darrens head, after Larten died.

--

I am dead.

I fell with you.

I died with you, together we screamed on the stakes, while the fire ate our bodies.

I am dead, and I'm only a ghost now, leading the others out of here.

My heart rests with you.

They try to wake me, but they cannot see. They do not understand I died weeks ago. Why didn't you take me with you too paradise? They say you are there, but I do not believe them. You always showed me the way, you must be here now and show me how to be dead. Your blood runs trough my veins, so I am you. You are dead, I am dead. They must just leave me alone. I'm dead.

It hurts. I am dead, so I should feel no pain right? Do the dead ones feel pain? I should know, I'm one of them. Am I? Please Larten, tell me, I do not know if I'm living or dead...

You were my reason of living, so I should be dead. I would cry for you if I was alive, and I do not cry. So I must be dead.

Do you want someone to cry for you Larten? Vancha did, and Truska too. Even Shancus, but he didn't even know you. I am sorry, I cannot cry for you. I am dead.

If I was alive I would cry. I want to cry for you, can you please give me life back? Just for a moment, so I could show you how much you did for me. But I'm afraid. I hurts to think of you even now when I'm dead, how then can I bear it if I'm alive? I do not want to be hurt anymore.

I think I must try. You told me not to be afraid, so I shall not be. I will return to life. You cannot do that. You are both lucky and cursed, because life hurts. But I will be brave, face the pain and cry for you.

I cry now. Your blood is inside me, but you are not here. I am crying, and it hurts. But I'll stay for you. My tears show me I'm alive. And my tears are for you.

For you Larten, I died. It was easy. Now I return to life. That's hard. But I realise the truth. Thank you Larten, I know now.

I am alive.

* * *

you know what to do! pretty please? QwQ


	9. Reading

Sorry it's so short! LartenxArra

* * *

Letters. Flowing trough each other before his eyes. Forming a tale, a language of their own.

A code, harder to break than anything else in the world, and still so easy.

Trickily they were dancing across the pages, like birds or little insects or maybe a landscape with rocks and trees. Keeping a secret from him, the sweet words of a poem, or maybe the thrilling lines of a story about bravery and adventure? He did not know. This was a secret that would never open to him. Never.

His eyes aced and ridicilous tears wet the page before him. He was grown-up for gods sake! He off all people should not cry about his past, about the secret that was forever lost for him. Angrily he threw the book away, it flew trough the air and landed in the opposite corner of the room, its pages creased and the binders spread like the wings of a wounded bird.

-"Larten?"

Without looking up he recognised the voice, and silently cursed himself. Why her?

She looked at the thrown book, and raised her eyebrows.

-"Didn't you like it? I told you I could change it if you wanted too..."

With careful hands she took it, smoothing the creased pages and stroking the binds.

-"Why didn't you just tell me Larten?" she said in a soft voice. "There is no point in giving you a present you don't like..."

-"I am...sorry Arra... I would...love to read it but..."

-"But what?" she sat down beside him, holding the book.

He said it in such a soft voice she could not even hear him with her vampiric ears.

-"I'm sorry Larten, I didn't hear you..."

-"I...I cannot read...nor write...I am useless..."

She looked astonished for a moment, but then her expression softened and she smiled. For him, it seemed like the sun just peeked from behind a cloud, warming the world to a soft summer day.

-"You should have told me...I understand. I feel sorry for you..."

She looked at the book.

-"This is one of my favourites...I can read it to you... if you want... It's called 'Tristan and Isolde', about an English knight and an Irish queen." She smiled. "It's beautifully written, more like a song than a story."

He rested his head against her shoulder, and felt the sweet smell of her hair fill his nose. It smelled of cold air and pine trees, with a little taste of roses. She tenderly stroke his cheek, and opened the book. On the first page there was a picture of a darkhaired man, playing a lute, and a golden haired lady listening with a smile on her lips.

-"She is beautiful."

-"I would choose you a hundred times more."

She smiled, and started to read.

-"_From far over sea he came,_

_with moonlight in his eyes_

_the golden nectar_

_and silver music_

_caught me_

_in the never fading web of love_

_oh I will follow him _

_across the sea_

_oh I will forever follow him_

_across the sea."_

She stopped reading and sighed.

-"What is wrong?" he asked.

She didn't answer, just kissed him again. But she didn't read on. She already knew the end.

* * *

So, another chappie posted! :D For the ones that don't know, Tristan and Isolde never married. Isolde was promised to another man. Isolde had a crush on Tristan even before, thanks to his good music(silver music) but then they both drank a love potion (golden nectar) and everything went crazy... They had to meet in secret, but at last, Tristan was killed by Isoldes evil husband, and Isolde grieved so much she soon followed him into death...

Anyway, I really have to write a chapter about Steve and Darren, or maybe just about Steve..So that's what you can expect in the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait!! Review please...

Elenafromthewoods

PS: the poëm I wrote myself, but the story about Tristan and Isolde is not owned by me! I wish it was though...it's a beautiful story!


	10. Autumn Winds

Autumn. A time of changes and melancholy.

You stare out the window and feel sad, because there are so many things gone. And you know they'll never come back.

Maybe you long for a special person? A place that made you feel happy, or a moment of sunlight that now is nothing more than a memory, slowly fading away. 

The promises and wishes never fulfilled echo in the air, making their way through woods covered with wet, fallen leaves. Suddenly a strong wind blows, making your cape flap back, and cooling your face with small, wet drops. Like tears they are, those drops.

The wind, full of force, fills you with longing. You've gone through dark times, seen blood, hatred and war without mercy. The extreme evil, the darkest dreams, the most unbearable of pain.

It was not a life you wanted. But it was your life, and it was worth it.

It was worth it all!! you scream out to the wind. The wind doesn't listen, so you scream again. IT WAS WORTH IT ALL!!

Every moment of pain you could share. You got woke up from every dream by a calming hand, and a worried voice asking if you were alright. And after some time, the rain cleans away all the blood.

Those moments will be forever cherished, when mountains fall, hunters die and even the undead become old. There are not many left now, not many who remember what really happened. Not many at all...

You return to the house. House, yes, because at last even the mountains fall, and the remains of the clan fled to a more comfortable place.

Inside they wait, gathered around the fire. Evanna reaches you a cup with something hot. You smile a little and drink it slowly, sitting down. She is really old now; her hair is almost grey. She could of course change her age, but you know she will not. She told you that she wants to die now, when Vancha and Gannen are dead too, and her twins are grown up.

You try not to think of them, the two brothers that played on different sides of the game. But in the dark autumn night, memories come and go like they want to.

Why did they have to die?  The war is over, the clans are united, and vampires can at last get children. But still, the sadness is left. Time is the greatest enemy, and one by one you watched them die. The people you thought you'd never have to loose. Truska, Seba, Vanez, Debbie....They passed away faster than you wanted, before you even noticed they were gone. You'd always expected to die first. But no, the body Desmond made for you still clings together, the grey pieces of flesh have yet not started to rott. Sometimes you wonder if this was what he really wanted, that time-controlling devil. Giving you eternal life in this world, just to make you watch how it crumbles and falls apart.

You stare across the table at your friends. One is missing. You look questiongly at Evanna, and she nods.

"Mika died today. He felt his time had come and went into the forest." She closes her eyes. "The wolves took care of him, and his soul went to Paradise at once."

Darius sighs.

"These are the last days of the clan. And in one way -" he leans back "-I feel relieved. We were made as a weapon to destroy this world. Now we have partly regained our humanity, and can fade away, like a memory. How...peaceful."

Urcha chuckles.

"Ironic. Must be the first time in vampire history you used the word 'peaceful'."

Darius shoots a glance at him and smiles a little.

"Maybe, my old friend. But...it's the time for it, don't you think so?"

I nod, even though no one notices. It is the time for it. Outside, the wind keeps blowing.

* * *

With special thanks to my wonderful beta Beyond the Gates - Mira Rose- who betaed this in less than an hour! Review if you want to, but I'll probably write on anyway so...;) but updates will be more frequently with reviews!:D

Happy Halloween everyone, and Happy Hug Mika month ;D you can of course hug harkat to, after all this chapter is about him :P

Love

Elena


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